Friday, December 16, 2016

The Tarpon on Mahalaya

You taught me how to love, how to dream, years ago
And years later, you told me of your disillusionment
With life
I was reading some letters from your final days
Full of sadness and resignation
How could you take pleasure in all that pain
I guess its like I push my loose tooth further
Is that how you felt?
I wont say RIP, because you are dead and done
Whats it to you? You are not around
This auspicious morn
I sing a tarpon in your memory
As your father sang for our ancestors, for many years.
Does your son do that now?
I wish I knew your son better
I wish I was friends with your loving wife
In all the connectedness of this world
I am losing touch with the connections that mattered
How do they remember you?
I remembered you out of the blue.
I dug up your letters
And all the sadness you had poured out to me
Such a contrast to the magic I've known in your company
Reading Tintins and Indrojwal comics together
Or eating egg roll or chowmin from Jadob-da's kitchen
Sharing a cigarette, which you hated to do with me
But it was after midnight and you were out, so it had to be
Prepping me for the engineering entrance exams
Giving me sums to do
Four integrations, each worth 25 points, you write
Hit or miss, I must, I must, get them right
On it, depended my entire happiness
I had to had to impress
Upon you, that I was so very special
The rain checks on some bhai phonta days
The mum bouquet I got you on one birthday
They come back to me,
And your incredulous expression
At my ever so outlandish, action
What we mean to someone is so often at odds with what they mean to us
You have gone. Even this will go, this remembrance
Until then, bon nuit, mon chere ami
I can hear you inquire whatever that means
Thursday, September 29, 2016