Friday, July 02, 2010

How Many Frogs? Get Set, Go

Continued from..
How many frogs? Saying I do

Radha has been out of town for three weeks, gone for a training on the east coast. Deb called her every night as usual and they would speak for hours. For Radha, it would get to past 3:00 AM by the time she would go to bed. She could barely keep her eyes open in class.

Previously Radha loved to hear Deb rumbling into her ears on the phone. Disconnecting was a sweet torment. Already Radha has begun to wonder exactly what they spoke about in those long hours. And more importantly, how they stayed clear of altercations. Ever since their decision to tie the knot, most of their conversations wound up in arguments. Radha found it hard to let go of a comment, whichever way, without pointing out a counter logic. It was really insane. Because often she ended up arguing for positions she did not believe in. And then she would blame Deb somehow for cornering her. Unfair to the bone, I say. How can you expect someone to fathom what you really think, versus what you say you think? Once when they were not arguing, Radha told Deb that sometimes when she got carried away arguing, he shouldn't hound her with logic at that point. Deb was amused. He said that this reveals how egotistic she was. That the need to dominate a conversation was a blatant pointer to her own insecurity. Radha hated his analysis. Who did he think he was!

Radha met with her gynecologist friend, Sumitra on the last day of her trip. Sumitra was very happy with her news. She advised that the couple start thinking about conception, pronto, seeing as Radha was already 35. Radha related this to Deb on their call. Deb wondered how to tell her, that he was not interested to have kids right away. He felt they needed to reach an equilibrium between them, before the next phase. But he also did not want to let her down. He felt guilty about the way their "proposal" happened. He had been meaning to bring up marriage, but just kept putting it off, the eternal procrastinator that he was. Having lived his entire adult life in a sort of a limbo with respect to women, he was finding it hard to keep pace with the rate of unfolding events. Radha sensed Deb's hesitation and tried to stem her rising bitterness.

Deb was there to take her home when she got back to CA. Radha had been sort of in two minds about seeing him again. But the sight of him, inhaling his cologne, his presence.. melted her heart. He leaned into Radha and brushed her cheeks with his nose as he maneuvered the car back on the road. He picked up Chinese food from PFChang's on their way. By the time they finished dinner Radha was smiling happily. Her opinion of Deb had risen some notches.

Deb and Radha are due in India in a week. Deb is averaging three missed calls from Shakti a day. He has stopped returning her calls to Radha's amusement. He does not have parents to prepare for him. So Shakti has taken it upon herself to coordinate things with him and Moni, Deb's sister-in-law, who is the only female from Deb's side of the family. Moni is not happy with Shakti's interference.. but being much younger than Shakti is finding it difficult to put up much resistance. Radha has stubbornly insisted on a modest affair attended by select friends and family. They will be getting married in court and follow it up with a single co-hosted reception. Radha whittled down Shakti's extensive guest list to a few lines. Shakti was quiet offended. But at least her daughter is getting married. And Deb is such a sweet man!