Friday, June 11, 2010

Be Mine: Games I will play

Continued from ...
Be Mine: Let me in

Torit woke up to find himself in a huge bed of silk strewn with lotus petals. A heavy sweet perfume invaded his senses.. Billowy folds of brocaded silk covered the walls and the ceiling. It felt like he was in a place from the pages of a history book. As he awakened more and more, he bacame concious of a sense of déjà vu. This was not his home. But he had been here many times in his dreams. Always, he would find himself here in this room lying cold and naked. It was the doll! Somehow in these dreams, the doll came alive! She was a beautiful woman who spoke in a strange tongue. Her name was Aki. The sight of her brought him terrible longing. She would slither against him, smooth as honey, and bring him unbearable pleasure. But his mind refused to submit to her seduction. And so it was terrible pain at the same time. Torit had no power to physically resist. On some occasions, Keenu's face would float up in his eyes. His heart cried out for his dearest. He ferverently hoped and prayed she was safe. Yes, she was. Aki always brought him and him alone. Aki would always know when his thoughts had strayed to Keenu. Her smoky black eyes flashed fire. Torit shivered with fear and wanted to run. He could not move a muscle.

Aki stared at her captive. This man had rescued her from a thousand years of solitude, packed in an ignominious old trunk. But he must pay, as all who came close to her, paid. Men were trifles. Adulation was the elixir in Aki's life. If you held out, you were going to be hunted. Aki could turn into the sweetest of souls. She could have you eating out of her hands in no time. But her friendship was an evil seduction. The more you depended on Aki, the more power she wielded over you. Then started the little manipulations to bend you to her sweet fancy. And when your deeds were against your best intentions, those successes earned a gold star in her books. She was back at her game after a looong time... perhaps she had lost her touch? This man kept remembering this other woman. It irritated Aki. But things were improving, thought Aki... Everyday Torit grew more powerful in his dreams.. his paralysis is going away. Aki's neck hurt from where Torit had gripped her earlier.. Aki had snaked her arms under his to slowly loosen his grip.. Her lips curved with a knowing smile... Torit remembered less and less of who he was... the dream was real now. Aki was flesh and blood, not to be denied.


After the accident and his checkup, Torit was both relieved that no pathology has been discovered and yet more troubled than before.. because his problem was real, scary and the doctors were as flummoxed as him. He was sitting huddled together with Keenu this evening in their sofa. Torit leaned forward and kissed his wife. She tasted salty. Her cheeks were wet from silent tears. He stroked her arms gently. He was touching Keenu after a long time... ever since his problem, his libido had been low... he felt guilty about it. As he held Keenu in his arms, Torit felt both the peaceful for the homecoming and vaguely disturbed. From the moment he had gotten back, he had noted that the doll he had bought for Keenu was missing from their bedroom. He was embarrased that it was one of the first things he did note. He also conciously realized his attachment to the doll for the first time. He had gotten irritated with Keenu for blaming him for taking the doll to bed with him! It was a preposterous suggestion. But suddenly today it did not seem so impossible. He could feel he was missing holding it... he could also feel an inexplicable fear of it, deep in his bones. What was going on! Try as he might, he could not push its eyes out of his mind. He willed himself hard to not ask Keenu what she'd done with it..